Tuesday, July 11, 2000

Boy Girl Boy Girl 

I was thinking I might post my favorite Quotes online. I think that sounds like a good idea. Or even better, just have a quote of the day or something.

I bought some fish the other day. There is this one that keeps swimming up and down the side of the tank, almost as if he's looking for a way out or something. It's hilarious, it's like, up and down and up and down all day. I wonder if fish have big enough brains to be bored.

I'm an insane loser. I have been assessing my life in the past few days, and it ain't pretty. I basically have concluded that I have NO exposure to guys, and that is just sad. The guys I see at UCLA say hi to me, I say hi back. Then we get into, "Are you a student here?" and of course, me not being a liar, I say "No." and that pretty much ends it. You see, this really sweet (not to mention good-looking) guy came up and asked me to sign a petition, and we got into a conversation. Before I knew it, I was telling him I'm going to be a sophomore in High School, and the conversation turned from a friendly one to a "No way! Hey, guys, check it out, this girl is a Sophomore in HIGH SCHOOL!" So much for making friends there, eh?
As of now, I have 1, yes one guy friend. At least one that I talk to. And the depressing thing is that we don't even see each other. It's just online. Then I talk to Cynthia, and she sees guys all the time because her best friend, Myra, goes to a co-ed school, and Cynthia always meets them. I have this problem, you see, and it is that I can get so insanely jealous of something that someone has, when they have absolutely no control over it. I am really jealous of the situation that Cynthia is in. All I can think of is, man, I wish I had stayed in contact with some of my best friends from Carlthorp, like Thalassa and Katie, because they could hook me up! Or at least they could have given me some exposure to guys, you know?
I was just telling Matthew how I can go back and forth from loving and hating my school all the time. Sometimes, I feel like I'm so secluded, and that I will NEVER get to meet guys if I stay there one more day. But other days, I love my school, for the friends I've made there, for the fun I've had there, and for the lessons I've learned there.
It's funny,  somehow I ended up talking about the same topic with the three people I'm chatting with right now. In different ways though. I'm telling Cynthia that she's going to end up hooking me up. Then I tell her that I promise myself to be courageous and ask a hot guy to dance at our next dance at school. I tell Matthew that I sometimes regret my decision to choose an all-girls school, and that I am jealous of his exposure, and  I wish I was in his position. Then I tell Joann, Honey, you gotta find me a man! But then guess what she responds with? "Hey, you gotta find me one first!". At least I'm not the only one going through this hell consisting of only the female sex.
There's one thing that I can say is very singular to the all-girls school. There's the loud boisterous girls who talk about sex loudly and dress strangely. You see, I can do whatever I want at my school and not have to worry at all about what impression I'm making on the people around me. But sometimes I would rather have the self-concious world of crushes and teenage beauty than this pit of freedom. That's an oxymoron, huh? That's it. My school is an oxymoron.eleven:fifty-one pm